What do women want in bed? It’s an important question to ask, because it shows you want to increase your partner’s pleasure. It also acknowledges the fact that, for some, unsolicited volunteering of what she wants in the bedroom doesn’t always come naturally. True, some will let you know exactly what they like in bed, but others have a harder time expressing their needs, which can make the general of idea of women wanting sex or the whole let-me-d0-that-thing-you-love exchange a bit more difficult. In some ways, this is, if not natural, at least normal, considering what social scripts say about gender roles in the bedroom. Men traditionally taken the lead when it comes to accessible sexual narratives (oh, hi, porn). But that doesn’t change the fact that a woman in bed has a strong opinions about what she wants in sex — and these things don’t always align with her partner’s. In the absence of mind-reading, there are some universal things men can do to help please women in the bedroom. From improving communication, finding the right tempo, and incorporating sex toys, there are many areas in which you can do better. So what are the most pleasurable things to do to a woman?
Below, are Five things women wish you would do during sex. Because even though she’s not saying it, she’s probably thinking it.
- Engage in foreplay
Research has shown that it takes women around 20 minutes or so to become fully aroused. Men, on the other hand, can usually get there in a fraction of the time. Of course, sex requires some compromise. But when it comes to matters of arousal and orgasm, the tortoise usually takes precedence over the hare. The more time spent on foreplay, the more opportunity the clitoris has to fill with blood and for the vagina to become lubricated. And both of those processes are key to satisfying sex. Plus, the more time you spend fooling around, the more opportunity you give those feel-good hormones to circulate throughout the body.
Even though both of you get naked together, women sometimes find it very difficult to lay out their needs. Really listen to what she says and ask for clarification where needed.
- Spend more time down there
penetration is not the most reliable means by which a woman can attain an orgasm. women are more likely to hit climax after participating in a variety of sex acts, including oral sex. Plus, it provides an opportunity to focus solely on her pleasure. And that’s demonstrative of a good and selfless lover. Of course, we’re not knocking the endless waves of pleasure your erect penis will indubitably provide to your partner. We’re just saying there’s nothing wrong with changing it up, time to time.
- Be more attentive to her orgasms
Sure, this one may seem like a tall order. But, as outlined earlier, penetrative sex does not always provide her with an orgasm. Try getting her off before the intercourse begins. Use your fingers, or maybe your tongue. That way, neither one of you have to sit on any added pressure during sex. Plus, the vagina tends to provide more lubrication during the climax. And that always helps enhance the penetrative experience.
- Be a little more adventurous
Getting rough with someone in bed can be super hot. Of course, you need to make sure your partner is on board before you go there.
As long as you’ve had consent conversations, and you know rough play is something she likes, absolutely proceed. After all, a little physicality can go a long way. So long as she’s into it, some gentle hair pulling and dirty talking can really help enhance the experience.
- Live in the post-sex moment
This one is important. Sex does not begin with a boner and ends with ejaculation. Yes, we know you may get sleepy after orgasm. But please, do your best to hold out, and hold her for a bit. It’s a considerate way to conduct oneself after sex. As most women will tell you, there’s nothing less sexy than a man who is blind to emotional cues. Those post-sex moments are so important for building intimacy. It is important to stay awake for a bit of a cuddle.